Day 6: Killing my time while healing

It was better, again, than yesterday.  I really hope this improvement in the past Day 5 and Day 6 will be my cycle for the rest of my 5 chemotherapy.  In the next cycle, I will be teaching on Day 6.  When there is some "must do" things that I care, I should be able to pull myself together on Day 6, I can tell.  The course is called Fashion Economics.  It is a field of economics, but main theme is about fashion.  I created the course outline, proposed to and approved by collage and NY state.  It is brand new and only run for 2 semesters yet.  This will be my third semester teaching that subject.  This semester, it expanded into 2 courses.  I am excited about it.  I am the only one who can teach that course and no other economists can replace me.  I must do it![physically] My body is 1/4 of my regular energy level.  A light fatigue.  Laying down most of the time.  Nausea around lunch time and I took a medicine.  No appetite.  Never feel hungry without eating any snack during a day.  Talking is not too tiring (it used to). I will contact doctor's office tomorrow to inquire about my continuous spotty period, still going on.  Today was it's 8th day.[emotionally] BORED.  I feel like a day after my fever is gone after catching a cold (yes, that is more emotionally).  Slightly positive.   Comments and e-mails from friends made me smile :-)!I am so bored, but I don't want to be actively moving around.  I tried to go out for a walk, but it started to rain and I turned around to head home.  I finally cleaned our kitchen casual dining table.  I did not realize but if I don't do it, things just pile up!   Dishes are served on top of them.  Table glass was sticky, I could not stand it any more and I could move and clean it.  I can see my husband is handful with taking care of me and our son while he does his job.  I will do what I can.My boredom set a light on my photography again today.  I don't want to walk around much.  I am afraid of contacting many people as I am more prone to infection today.  Photography requires some time and now it is a perfect time.  I had not done that for awhile.日本語で昨日よりも、また良くなっていたので、この調子で　ずっと　今回のサイクル後2週間、よく成ってくれるといいなと願う。次の抗がん剤治療のあとは、Day6に　仕事が入っている。今日の調子なら、気合さえあれば　乗り切れそう。何よりも私が作った　私のクラス　ファッション経済学。私が行かないで誰が教えるんだという意気込みもあるから、きっと当日になれば　気力が支えになりそうです。今まで1学期に1コマ3時間で、2学期間教えてきました。今学期から2コマに増えたところで　ありがたいことです。私がやらなきゃ！[体調]　普段の1/4ぐらいの　エネルギーしか　ないかな。気持ち悪いのもあり。途中吐き気止め薬を1度飲む。相変らず　食欲一切なし。おなかがすかない。昨日よりも　体重が減っている。今日で8日目になるというのに　生理が終わらない。明日は病院に電話してみよう。[心理] とにかく　退屈で仕方がない。（が、やる気もない。）　まるで　風邪引いて熱が下がった朝のような気分。多少ポジティブな私。イーメールやコメントに　にんまり。あまりに暇だけれど、億劫で歩き回りたくないし、免疫力が少なくなっているはずなので、人にも積極的に会わず。歩きに出れば、雨が降ってくるので退散。食卓のテーブルが　手紙の類で山済みになっていて、その上で食事をしていたんだけれど、もう　いい加減我慢できず、私が片付けた。ハズバンドは、私と息子の世話で手一杯。ありがとう。やれることはします。いつも出来なかった写真をまた始めてみた。デジタルなのに5枚しか撮らなかったけれど、花に乗った水滴に感動できたことに感謝。久しく　そんな視点でカメラ握ったことなかったもの。暇過ぎた所に光が当たった私のカメラ。それもありかな。