Day 4: Finding about Steroid Pill Power

Today was better than yesterday.  I wake up fine, some fatigue, but not as bad as yesterday.  No nausea.  Good start.But, most of my day, I was lying down.  That was the most comfortable position I could take, while texting and browsing websites with my cell or watching movies.In the afternoon, a nurse from the chemotherapy unit called me to check on me.  We went over how I felt and confirmed this has been perfectly normal reaction.  She assured that the chemotherapy I had was a strong one, and I should take things easy.  Don't over do anything.  She told me to expect a very similar reaction cycle for the future 5 sessions as well, and plan accordingly.  (My relative-in-law told me the same, too! Thanks.)One thing I found very interesting from the conversation is the reason I felt relatively fine on the first and the second days of the chemotherapy.  It was a set of steroid pills, Decadron, that I took for over three days, a day before, during and a day after chemotherapy.  The nurse told me that once the Decadron's effect is gone, then I must feel exhausted.  The whole thing made sense now!On Day 2, I could go out for the farmer's market, only because I had that medicine. Wow, that medicine is powerful, then. [physically]: Not as bad as yesterday.  Fatigue. No appetite. I don't get hungry.  I eat, only because it is time to do.  Last day of my period.  Before going to bed, I became nauseous.  I took Lorazepam for sleep.[emotionally]: I became sad about my appetite.  I used to be such a foodie.  There was a time that I thought I was living for food.  Now I eat food for living, period.  It is sad to realize that I don't have anything in my mind what I want to eat.  Food seems to be out of picture, no joy comes along.  Now it is obligation to have something nutritious to sustain my life.日本語はこちらから　(For Japanese, click Read More)本日は　昨日よりは疲れもなく　ほどほどに。ただ　やっぱり横に成っている姿勢が一番楽。朝から気持ち悪くもないし、まずまず。携帯が一番のお友達状態。午後になって　抗がん剤の治療ユニットの看護師さんから、いかがでしょうかと　電話がありました。人によって　パターンは違うものの、今後5回、似たようなパターンになると思われるとのこと。これが　あと　5サイクル続くのは　いやだなぁ。。。さ て、看護師さんと話をしていて気がついたこと。抗がん剤を打って　私が余裕を持ってファーマーズマーケットにまで足を伸ばすことができた理由が分かりまし た。抗がん剤を打つ日をはさんで3日間、ステロイドと称して　デカドロンという薬を処方されていたのですが、まさに　そのステロイドのおかげで私が動いて いたと言うことが分かりました。恐るべし、化学の力。いまさらになって　過去の行動力に　納得！ [体調]：昨日ほど悪くない。疲れ。食欲なし。おなかがすかない。生理が最後。寝る直前に気持ちが悪くなる。睡眠導入薬に助けられて　寝る予定。そろそろきいてくるかな。[感情]：食欲がないという事実が悲しくて、涙が出た。あれだけ料理が好きで、料理のために生きていたといっても過言ではない。今となっては、まさに　生きるためには食べないといけないから　仕方がなくおいしくもないものを食べる次第。（味が分かりにくいから、おいしさがあまり感じない。）料理をしたいという気力もわかないし。私が楽しみにしていたことが欠落したことを悲しむ。